I Write Like WHOM? LOL!

NPR recently aired a story about a new website, called “I write like” (http://iwl.me/) which uses sophisticated algorythms to analyze your writing style and compare you to a famous author.

The idea sounded intriguing, but everything I entered was compared to a different author, sometimes one I’d never even heard of. I decided to determine just how accurate these algorythms are by entering random paragraphs from actual famous authors.

For each of the results below, I entered a random paragraph from a book on my bookshelf (or a poem, in a few cases). Here are the results:


Abraham Lincoln writes like Dan Brown
Agatha Christie writes like Leo Tolstoy
Albert Einstein writes like James Joyce
Alfred Hitchcock writes like David Foster Wallace
Alfred Lord Tennyson writes like David Foster Wallace
Andre Norton writes like Edgar Allan Poe
Arthur C. Clarke writes like Dan Brown
Arthur Conan Doyle writes like Charles Dickens
Barack Obama writes like Stephen King
Bill Cosby writes like Dan Brown
Billy Graham writes like Kurt Vonnegut
Bob Hope writes like P.G. Wodenhouse
Carl Sagan writes like David Foster Wallace
Charles Dickens writes like David Foster Wallace
Dale Carnegie writes like George Orwell
Douglas Adams writes like Stephen King
Edgar Allan Poe writes like Charles Dickens
Edgar Rice Burroughs writes like Mary Shelley
Emily Dickenson writes like Leo Tolstoy
Fred Saberhagen writes like Stephen King
Garrison Keillor writes like David Foster Wallace
Gary Gygax writes like Isaac Asimov
Gene Roddenberry writes like Stephen King
George Burns writes like Isaac Asimov
George Carlin writes like Kurt Vonnegut
George Lucas writes like Dan Brown
George Orwell writes like Leo Tolstoy
George Washington writes like James Fenimore Cooper
Groucho Marx writes like Chuck Palahniuk
H.P. Lovecraft writes like Raymond Chandler
Harlan Ellison writes like J.D. Salinger
Ian Flemming writes like Margaret Atwood
Isaac Asimov writes like George Orwell
J.R.R. Tolkein writes like Stephen King
Jane D. Hull writes like David Foster Wallace
John McCain writes like Kurt Vonnegut
John Milton writes like James Joyce
John Norman writes like Charles Dickens
Jules Verne writes like James Joyce
Kurt Vonnegut writes like James Joyce
Leonard Nimoy writes like David Foster Wallace
Lewis Carrol writes like P.G. Wodehouse
Mark Twain writes like Lewis Carroll
Maya Angelou writes like David Foster Wallace
Ogden Nash writes like Mark Twain
Pohl Anderson writes like Douglas Adams
Ray Bradbury writes like Kurt Vonnegut
Richard Francis Burton writes like Arthur Conan Doyle
Robert A. Heinlein writes like Kurt Vonnegut
Robert E. Howard writes like H.P. Lovecraft
Robert Frost writes like Kurt Vonnegut
Roger Zelazny writes like Margaret Atwood
Rudyard Kipling writes like Oscar Wilde
Stephen Hawking writes like Dan Brown
T.S. Elliot writes like Margaret Mitchell
Terry Pratchett writes like Dan Brown
Thomas Jefferson writes like Leo Tolstoy
Timothy Zahn writes like Margaret Atwood
William Shakespeare writes like Johathan Swift
Zane Grey writes like Charles Dickens


I also found one and only one author who consistantly writes like himself: Leo Tolstoy.

After writing this article, I entered it into I Write Like. It says I write like Kurt Vonnegut.

Why $10,334?

Almost as soon as I set up an online Salvation Army kettle, I began to recieve e-mails asking me about my goal of $10,334. Why not a nice, round number, or something easier to achieve?

This number comes from my own personal history. I've been ringing bells for the Salvation Army post in Tempe, Arizona since I was a teenager. This is my 23rd year with this post. I've raised a lot of money for my post over the years, but there is one record which I have never broken.

23 years ago, my very first year as a bellringer, on the day after Thanksgiving, I had the fattest kettle of my life. There was $10,333.54 in there. If you think that sounds like a lot for a first-timer, you're right! Most of that came from a check for $9,999. However, I have heard of much larger Salvation Army kettles in other towns.

In 22 years of bell-ringing since that day, I have never even come close to breaking that record. This new online kettle gives me a chance to attempt to do so. What's more, donors can use my kettle to donate to their own local post, my post, or any other post as they desire. The money goes where you want, but still counts toward my record-breaking attempt.

The Tempe, AZ post is located on the corner of Myrtle and University, just one block from Mill Avenue and across the street from Arizona State University. Although it does not operate a homeless shelter, it still serves a large number of homeless, helps families with bills and provides church services every Sunday.

Not much food is available at this post, but homeless are given 2 bags of food per week. We also arrange places for them to get showers, provide them with toiletries, provide clothing as available, help them to replace lost identification and birth certificates, provide credit counseling, give them a place to recieve their mail, and also help them in many other ways. We also participate in and serve as the assembly point for a program which houses a few homeless people in a different church every night, which gets us around some restrictions on homeless shelters in Tempe. We are also hoping to raise enough money this season to buy them all backpacks and blankets.

A few months ago, the Tempe post suffered major storm damage. Although the national fund helped us to repair the roof, the repairs are not yet completely paid for.

Of course, I would be lying if I told you that none of this money will be used for partying. Every year, we host Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners for the homeless. This is a tradition at all Salvation Army posts. We also want to be able to give turkeys to needy families.

This pretty much sums up how we will use donations at the Tempe, AZ post. Many other posts across the nation use their money in similar ways, quite possibly including the post in your own town. Many other posts also operate homeless shelters, schools, and other large-scale projects. Feel free to use my kettle to donate to one of these other posts, if you wish.

...and don't ever let them tell you that you can't say "Merry Christmas!"

CoH Comics now online

I have created a section for my City of Heroes comics. These comics are all made from real City of Heroes screenshots. I've linked in all the comics I've created so far, with plans to add each new comic to this blog as it becomes available.

Joke Book Online

The joke section is up and ready.

Lord Xenophon's Joke Book